Loneliness

Here I was in the middle of a busy room, full of people I knew. So why did I feel so lonely?

Have you ever experienced it? That sense that you want to be part of it. Yet in reality, it feels like you’re somehow so disconnected?

For years we lived in a remote part of the Northern Highlands of Scotland. Going to grab a pint of milk was a fifteen mile journey. The ‘local’ supermarket was a sixty mile round trip away. Stunning as it was, there were days in that beautiful land that I ached with loneliness. And yet, here I was, seemingly in the ‘middle of it all’, with those same pangs of isolation. How could it be?

As I reflected, I turned to where I had always gone in those forgotten places of the Northern Highlands. To my Father. With me in every thought, every tear and every heart-wrenching goodbye. And Here He was. My comfort. My friend. He was my home. My belonging. My answer to the loneliness on the inside. Instantly, the attention I had held – about how I didn’t fit in here, was filled with a different focus: A conversation with someone who is with me, wherever I am, whoever I am with.

And it reminded me so much of that verse that urges us to pray without ceasing. Because when all is said and done, prayer is simply a conversation. And when its vibrant, engaging and meaningful, every conversation includes more than one person! Beyond the monologue we can have inside our own heads, conversation goes at least two ways,  flowing back and forth.

And as the inner discussion with my Father continued, the emptiness left, the loneliness ebbed and what replaced it was a deep sense of contentment. I no longer felt alone. I no longer felt lonely.

As I basked in the comfort, I realised just how much I’d missed this deep intimacy with Him over the past couple of days. Could it be that my earlier sense of disconnect had less to do with the people around me and more to do with needing who was within me?

And it made me wonder. Might God be missing us too? Like any rich friendship, could it be that He is longing for our connection, for our gaze, for our attention. Might there be times that without it, He is lonely too? Might this be why we’re encouraged to make our life a prayer? Because it’s not just what we desire in times of need, but what God desires at any time at all?

‘Make your life a prayer’.

1 Thessalonians 5:17 TPT